Tips on cutting your guest list, saving money, or going all out!
Plus, how to choose your wedding party.
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Welcome back. This is Emma and this is Andrew and we're from MLA and bri.com and you're listening to our podcast, getting married with Emeline bride. And this week we're going to be speaking with you about your wedding guest list and how to pick your wedding party. Let's get it started. Okay, so guest list. This one is a toughie because there's always a lot of dilemma with family and friends. Oh yeah. Been there, done that. Do you invite your second cousin twice removed even though you haven't seen them in like a year or maybe ever. You might have to. You might have to bite the bullet on that one. What about your coworkers, your friends, like day to day, but you might not hang out outside the office? Personally for me, I dunno coworkers. I mean, come on. If you know the people, I think if you've known him for a while, I say go for it. If not, Eh, I don't think you have to. Yeah, I agree. And then the other thing is do include kids, the pros and cons. With that kids, you can, you can invite kids if you're really pumped to have a bunch of kids and, and you want them to have good time. Or maybe you've got a family with a lot of kids, uh, extended family, but if not, and you just want it to be adults and a young happening hip hop Nin party thrown around then, then crazy. Yeah. Crazy. Maybe you want him to just keep it adults, right? So we'll get into all of that, but pretty much everything's going to come down to personal preference and most of all your budget, those road. Okay, so budget. You know what the funny thing about budget is? You can have the same size guest list at two different venues in pay a completely different price. For example, you can have 20 guests at $20 a piece per plate, right? Including food and Bar, right? And it'll be like four grand. And that sounds like a pretty good deal, right? On the other hand, if you go to a pricier venue, you might invite 200 guests, same gas. Yeah. At $50 a plate and you're gonna spend $10,000 still doesn't sound terrible. Terrible. When people are saying that spending $40,000 or upwards of like 60 or when you're getting, when you're getting up to 40 I mean we were, we just did 10 and we just covered what we told you guys last week was one of the most expensive parts of your budget. Yeah, it was the food and drinks and food and drink for sure. Yeah, so c same guest lists, different price. It's going to come down to where you get married, right? Absolutely. Let's say you want to keep the same, keep on your budget and you don't want to cut the guest list. I can only, I'm going to spend this much money and this many people are coming. Right. You can do a couple of things. One of those things is you can cut down the number of entrees for your meal, of course, so if people are looking at the same money, they can cut small things out if they're really stuck on the more expensive venue, right? Yeah, absolutely. You can have two Andre's instead of four do away with the dessert table. Perhaps maybe a big dessert. I mean also the open bar to closed bar and that's going to save you if you want to go that route. But if you don't want to go that route, have at it and get, get everything included. I mean you're going to get married once here and if not, there's plenty of ways to save money, hopefully at the location you want as your wedding. Many, okay? Now if you have your heart set on a venue that you really, really love, alright and you cannot budge on your guests was like no, this is the less that happens to everyone. The parents, if they've got friends, they've got, they've got people they've known for forever and you might have only met these people twice. They want them to come to your wedding. If you are good at keeping the guest list as is, you can cut on other areas, right? So sometimes you need to just make your priorities like your food and drink are going to be the big expense. Maybe you spend less on your wedding favors. Yeah. Maybe you get, instead of a live band, you get a DJ. So you just have to kind of work out your budget to make it fit the venue that you want, which you definitely will. Sometimes you have to cut your guest list cause you just have to fit your venue. Sometimes your venue is too small, so there's a couple ways you can do it without feeling guilty. Yeah, I mean if you, if you've got to hold it to a specific number or of course your budget, you may have to cut people and you shouldn't feel too bad about it if you do have to cut them, but you could also look at it another way. You're going to pay up now and in the future down the line, if you expect to see these people, they did make it to, to your wedding. You did have them there and if they have a wedding or their family has a wedding, you're going to go to the rest down the line. You expect to see. Again, I would invite them to your wedding. I would attempt to make it work. And for your wedding day, you should want to invite all the people that you care about and that you are family and friends that you've known through the years. Yeah, for sure. Really fun time to invite everybody. You can all the must have people, but for the, for the extra people that, you know, someone may be leaning on you, Hey, say, uh, can, uh, can, uh, my old friend Kolmar can this person or that person, I mean it's all up to you in the end, you and, um, and your future spouse. But I don't, you know, you can't go wrong unless you're pinching pennies almost. You have to know some weddings, you invite kids and you invite everybody else. Right. It can be fun. It was fun. Our wedding week, we had kids who were closely related to us, immediate dog, nieces, nephews, nieces, nephews standing up in the wedding. And we did, we did. And some extended family. We just had them come cause we thought it would be a great night out for them. And they got babysitters for their kids and I worked out. Yeah, it did. And then we've been on the other side where all kids are there. They have a great time. Then you see them on the dance floor and they're, they're, they're loaded up on wedding cake and they're dancing all night long. So I can see it both ways. Sure. I can too. And then we've actually seen it too. I've been to weddings before where it is just adults. I mean everyone's 18 and older I would say. Right. And that works too. Yeah, I guess that's where you're not worried about little kids having a freak outs or, or running up to the cake and getting a finger full of ice. And I mean of those worst case scenarios, but that doesn't really necessarily happen. How often does that happen? No parents that bring their kids, keeping a close eye on them and they're not going to let them go do go haywire. Mostly your Eagleeye you're watching after. Now that we have kids, we can see it a different way. But of course it's a personal preference and, and no one knows your, your relatives, your family better than you do. And of course their kids and uh, you know, and if you wanted to buy them or not, and it is also fun to have a date night and get all dressed up and go to a wedding. Yeah, absolutely. You can stay out late. You don't have to feel like you have to get back in time for the kids. So yeah. Personal preference, personal preference. Yes. Now what do you think about coworkers? Like you see them, we did kind of touch on this boat. You see them day to day and you're probably not telling them all about your wedding that's coming up because it's a big part of your life. Should you have to invite them to your wedding. I think the pros of inviting them to your wedding is it's gonna fit in with your office relationship or your, uh, your relationship at work with your, you know, your coworkers. I mean, you're going to become closer friends, which is a great thing. The only negative thing is you're going to have to pay for them to come and they really might not give you that big of a gift to even cover their meal, their pros and cons. Right. There are pros and cons and also if you work in like a larger office, you can't pick and choose who you get to invite cause then it makes for really awkward donuts and coffee the next morning. It's kind of like the office, it's that episode where um, everyone gets invited, the Jim's party and they're all getting an email to it except Michael and he's, he's upset and he's bothered about it cause he wasn't part of that. Yeah, that's definitely something that you want to avoid, especially, you know, you wouldn't want to not invite your boss and everybody else. That is a good point about your boss. If you're kind of close, work closely with your boss and you are inviting some coworkers, you definitely want to extend an invitation. That's right. You'd want any bad blood. Oh and another thing to remember and your guest list is your parent's friends. It's a really nice thing to do to extend an invitation. Hey Mom and dad, you can invite, you know, two of your closest friends in a plus one and then do the same for your future in laws. It's true. That's a definitely a smart thing to do. I remember for our wedding and our parents and my two friends that they've had since they met and they were at their wedding, so it'd be really fun to have your friends at your kid's wedding celebrate it. Yeah, I think most people do do that and that's, that's great wise thing to do. You know your parents went through all the effort to raise you. Right, and they want to show off some wonderful party, invite a couple of their friends. You may have to limit it, but it's smart. It's do one or two a nice gesture. They appreciate it for sure. Okay, now we have a couple toughies. How about the people who invited you to their wedding, but you're not really that close anymore? What do you think Andrew is we invited? That's a tough question. It's a case by case basis or are you going to see these people again and are you closed? Of course you're going to probably already invite them or they're going to be future wedding is down the line that you may want to get invited to have theirs. He might be a huge pool of friends, all the friends and you got invited to one of their weddings, but you're kind of like a, I don't really want to invite them to my wedding, but hey, when a one of them gets married a year from now, I want to go to that. You better invite them. It's, it's looking down the line years to come. Do you want to have a relationship with them or do you want him to come? Or are you saying I want to save money and I only want eliminate an amount of people there. And so you've only got a list of a hundred people and your venues, small, intimate, um, these people aren't getting invited and you just have to tell them the reason why is my wedding venue, various mall. If you're go in there, if not, it's going to be a large wedding. It'll be well worth it. Oh, what about people that you're only friends with on social media? This is kind of a new one. Yeah. If you're only friends, you know, cause yeah, social media is such a big thing. But I mean, I mean I vote against that. Liking their posts. You're not actually seeing them in person or hearing their voice. I don't think you have to extend an invitation. No, absolutely not. And finally, you're going to want to keep an open mind with your guest list. If your families are suggesting, hey, you want to invite this person or that person, consider it, throw him an invite. And if your parents are paying for the wedding guest list is completely up to their discretion, right? Absolutely. If you're lucky enough that they're helping you pay for your wedding, yeah, absolutely. Don't be nitpicking their suggestions. There's gotta be a line in the sand that you don't want anyone that cross. Right. And you and you're going to have that know that for sure. There's going to be a line where there's going to be where you're going to say no, and that's great thing for you to have, but just know it's not the end of the world. If you invited a couple extra people, you know another thing we didn't talk about him was the factor. Your wedding guests may not all show up. Oh a good point. Yeah. If you, if you are expecting 200 people, you're probably looking at more like one 75 so sometimes it pays to invite a couple extra people and then when you get your full account, you'll be looking good. So if you add a couple of extra people, it's, it's all gonna work out in the end and you're still going to be below your minimum amount. More than likely. Now that we have your guest list picked out, we're going to talk about people and another way your wedding party wedding party looks good. You love wedding parties. Absolutely. So much fun. Been a bridesmaid many times. Twice. Yeah and I've been a best man at once and a groomsman a couple of times. Groomsmen a couple times. It's awesome to be involved in a wedding party. What's your favorite part of the wedding party? You feel special enough, you feel a part of the group, you feel like a part of the team. You know you've had a, you've had a friend who thinks so highly of you that they want you in their, at their wedding party and that's, that is the high point right there. It's a lot of fun to be in. The wedding party is quite an honor to be asked. So how do you pick who's going to be in your wedding party can be an easy decision or it can be really tough because you don't want it. You don't want to hurt any feelings, but sometimes you just gotta man up. You've got a woman up and they just got to pick people. The closest to friends, friends, family, cousins, basically whoever you thought you would, you would have one day stand up in your wedding. That's who you want to have a good question. I guess. Um, some of our listeners may wonder is what number do I have? I mean three people, five people, 10 people. How ridiculous can, again, it can, it can get, can do. Huge, right? We've been in big wedding parties, we've been in very small wedding parties. You've seen it all. Sure. We were at one wedding, was it 400 people? 400 guests, right. And 13 couples. Right. So there were 26 people in the wedding party alone. Yeah. And that, and that seems crazy, but there are big weddings like that, but it was really fun. It was fun. They had a huge party limo. They did. It was really cool. It was right, and then of course you could have, I mean, at the minimum, right? You gotta have a maid of honor, a best man, and then you probably want one additional person. Right, right. Because bridesmaid or groomsmen, right. Because you want a group of people, you don't want to have it so small that you don't really get a chance to enjoy it. You want to have a group of people. It's fun to have that group and that group gets to really enjoy your wedding and partake in and all the festivities and and be part of that close knit team, the the bride and groom getting married. You know what I mean? Sometimes it pays to keep friends by just having them in your wedding party. Another thing is, is don't let, don't small things. Maybe you've had a, a small difference with a friend or something like that. Don't let that keep them on your wedding party. If normally your relationship is absolutely great. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. If you hang out with this person regularly, include them in your wedding party. Absolutely. But if the person's going to be bringing drama to your wedding, Crawford, awesome. Now that's more trouble than it's worth, right? Don't have any signed up in the party, but heck, maybe they're coming as a guest. Yeah. Anyone that's going to stress you out, right for the purpose of stressing you out. X is not worthy of wedding party material. That's a solid, that's a solid point. You don't want people who are going to stress you out being part of your bridal party. And of course, picking your best man. You're going to want someone who can give a solid speech, someone who's not going to embarrass. You don't want them to tell a story and a crowd of people, right? Yes. Right, right. So that goes in big and trusting someone who's going to be your best man. Yeah. Same goes for me to Vaugner. She's going to have to give a speech at dinner. It can be short and sweet, but she's got to give a good one and she has to be ready to tell a great story. So in conclusion, on your guest list, keep it simple. Keep it simple. Invite those close to you that are going to make your wedding awesome. Absolutely. And keep an open mind about inviting guests. So that's the end of our podcast. I want to give a quick shout out to our special guests today. You guys didn't even know about Ruby. Our puppy is laying in her feet. She's like the quietest dog in the world. She is. Yep. She's not going to bark for us right now. No, we tried. We told her here, but she is. We said Ruby's bake and she won't. She's asleep. She's frozen. But anyways, thank you for listening and we hope this helped you. Pick your guest list and your wedding party and check us out on the blog at [inaudible] dot com we have a really fun special giveaway coming up on Tuesday. Oh, cool. What is it? I can't tell you. You got to tune in and you got to check out the blog. This Andrew, and this is Emma from getting married at Mlm, bride.com. See you next week.Speaker 1: